i dont know anymore.

so i just gotta call from my mom last night and she wanted to talk about what might happen in the future. she said "since you probably will be going to san jose state, i was thinking we should just move down there so our house down here isnt just getting paid for no one living in it. and you wouldnt have to dorm or rent another place or anything. it would save us money" i argued with her that if we do that, where would i go during vacations because i would want to come back down here to hang out with my old friends and stuff but where would i stay if i moved to san jose? but ive been thinking and my mind is saying "what do you have to come back for anyways?" i mean, i've grown distant from even my close friends that i dont even get invited to much things, i have no girl to hang on to, i really dont think what i have going right now would go anywhere since we would be going to seperate colleges and she still has her doubts. so in my head im thinking maybe i should just move down to san jose and just live down there. start a new life and visit this one from time to time. part of me wants to just let it all go and start fresh but part of me wants to argue with my mom so i can stay down here. she tells me its up to me, so i gotta figure this out. at this point though, nothings really giving me a reason to stay...

anyways im eating spaghetti, yumm! random i know.

just chillin for a bit before i go to work on a really wasted friday. i could be going to see my friends perform at some cafe but no one told me ahead of time to schedual a day off. my partner mikey and some other badminton players are going to apac tonight and i wont even get to go :[ i feel so left out of things sometimes.

hadda good practice today with mike. for some reason we dont play as good as we do during practice in a real game. honestly if we played how we play during practice in a real game then we would be a huge threat. i guess its just the game time butterflies or something. well only reason im blogging right now at this time of day is because after i go to work then nothing else interesting will come up today so might as well do it now. thanks for reading whoever read. i dont care if you hate me or love me, taking the time out of your day to read all this means something. you know who you are.