A Part of Me, Unknown.

Lately I feel like people's perception of me may have changed.
I've been hearing the word "flirt" around me lately or among word of mouth.
But what does it mean to even flirt now days?
I feel like I can't try and hold a simple conversation with a girl,
without being looked upon as if I'm trying to flirt with her.
Now I can see why people would consider calling me a flirt.
I mean, I admit, I may get flirty depending on who it's with.
But this doesn't mean I flirt with any girl I meet or know.
I feel like I'm a very friendly and open person.
I'm always willing to make new friends.
One thing I get told to me pretty often is that when I meet someone,
I have a certain thing about making it feel like it isn't the first time we've met.
Or the first time we've talked.
Or chilled.
I feel like I have the ability to make people feel open and comfortable around me,
even if we just met.
But I feel like having that characteristic in myself, is viewed as me being a flirty person.
Although it may seem like I talk comfortably with many different female friends of mine,
It's just my personality and who I am.
One thing that I genuinely cherish is a person who can hold a good conversation.
I love having great conversations with someone who knows how to keep it going.
Like if I was at a party, I'd rather have a great conversation with someone I know or just met,
than rage it out and party it up.
This is why it seems like I try to talk a lot, but not because I have any bad intentions like getting in their pants,
but because I genuinely like having quality conversations.
Especially when it comes to girls because I don't get that too often.

One thing people may not know about me,
except for maybe the handful of girls I've done it to,
is that if I ever fall for a girl, and let my feelings be known to her,
I wouldn't be the same "flirty" guy I am while I'm single.
This is a side of me only a few have seen,
because I feel like it's rare that I actually openly let a girl know I'm feelin' her and pursue her.
But for those few that's seen how I am when I'm dating someone or feeling someone,
they can vouch for me that I am not the same "flirt" anymore.

This is my scale of how I'd feel towards a girl if it were to get there:

I'd be interested in her and getting to know her/spend time with her > Get to know her > I'd pursue her > I'd figure if the feeling is mutual/whether I'm wasting my time or not > I'd let her know I feel.

Those go in order based on the rarity of each phase occurring. Now I feel like it takes a special someone for me to actually get to the point where I tell her how I'm feeling. Not because I have extremely high standards, but because it's just how I am when it comes to me personally letting my feelings be known to someone else. Just how I grew up I guess. With that being said, if I were to ever get to that stage with a girl and let her know that I was feeling her, that's the truth and I wouldn't be telling that to just anybody, nor would that mean I would rather have anyone else. What I'm trying to say is that, yeah I may seem like a flirt in some eyes, but what many don't know is that when I'm actually talking to someone or dating someone, and I tell her straight up that I'm feelin' her, she'll have all my attention for a reason and I wouldn't do that with just anybody.

You can take this blog and believe what I'm saying, or just write me off as flirt. But hey, I'm young and single, so I'm going to let it flow until someone worth pursuing comes along and grabs my attention. Until then... hi haha :]

Damn this may be my longest blog this year, but I was long over due for an update. Thanks for reading (if you read this whole thing) and maybe getting to know me a little more. Hope this doesn't make you look at me differently in a wrong way, now, either. :\

Until next time,
Tony

Our Story.

Our story is one of a kind. Can never be duplicated. Never syndicated. All signs indicated. Friends tried to indicate it. The feelings, just couldn't detain it. Damn I wish we made it. Memories of us, I've tried to fade it. There's no other way to say it but it sucks how much we've faded...

Alone

Sometimes when I get lonely, I just put my headphones on and get into my own world. Then being by my lonesome isn't as bad anymore. It doesn't have to mean physically. No one sees it though. Don't I look like I have so many friends? Knowing a lot of people is a lonely life. I'll smile through it all.



:]

Lesson #1

You gotta take the good with the bad. Love what you got, remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget. Learn from mistakes but never regret.

Background Instrumental

Drake - Club Paradise (Instrumental)

One Of My Flaws

One of my most hated flaws about myself that I hate is....

I don't make an effort to keep in touch with anyone that doesn't make an effort to keep in touch with me.

I hate that I do that. I feel like I probably lose touch with a lot of my friends because of that. I tend not to try and be the first to hit someone up first that I haven't really talked to in a while. However, when I do hit up people to catch up, it actually turns out to be a good move and we somewhat gain our friendship back. But then why don't I keep at it with others?

See I have this mindset like if they don't hit me up, they probably don't see a reason to talk to me. Which is why I never really am the first to hit someone up. Whether it be facebook, text, tweet etc. The bad thing about this is what if a lot of others feel the same way? What if others have the same mindset as I do? Then we'd just go in circles of having that anxiety that the other person doesn't wanna talk and we'd never get to it.

Yeah this is one of my most hated traits I have. It's just who I am. I know it's not wise to publicly say my flaws but like I said before, I feel as if talking about my flaws and letting it be known is how I can overcome them.

On that note, I'll close this one. Yay for blogging again.

Want to see one of my other biggest flaws? I posted it here.

Till' next time,
Tony

I'm Such a Liar

Dang posting about Junethea's tragic story got my blog a lot of traffic (over 1,000). That wasn't even my intent, if I could choose so, I wish I would have never had to post it in the first place you know what I mean? Like wishing it never happened. I saw a video of hers 3 days before her accident and what she says at the end just gets me. "I hope everyone stays safe, drives safe, and parties safe"... Her funeral was this past weekend in San Diego. I wish I could have made a quick visit just to show my sorrow for her family. May she rest in peace.

I keep saying I'm going to try and update my blog but I never do. I just never sit down with enough time to make a good post. There are plenty of things on my mind. I would update about what's going on with my life, fraternity, school, girls, friends, music site, and bla bla, but there's just too much to say. The main reason I made this blog was to spill my thoughts out. I use to update so much back in the past because I use to never really have people I can tell my thoughts to. But after hitting college, I have made friends that actually give me the option of talking out what I feel.

So although I never post as much, take this as a good sign and let it be known that I'm doing fine.
I say this way too much but I'll try to post often again. Key word...try.

:]
Tony

Rest In Paradise, Junethea Crystal Centeno

Jesus got what he lost 18 years ago, and that's his angel back.

Today I came across the news of this beautiful young girl recently passing away in a tragic vehicle accident. Turns out she was a huge influence on those around her and those that followed her tumblr (click to view it). I'll admit it, I don't even know this girl on a personal level but from what I see, she had an amazing personality and did nothing but bring joy to whoever she was around. It's crazy cause the most random set of friends on my Facebook news feed would show sadness for her. It's so touching to see the huge amount of people who have showed love for her and support for her family. From a simple tumblr blogger who's also trying to become an influence as she was, I pray Junethea rests in paradise and hope her family get through these dark times okay. Although this is a tragedy and it may be hard, I'm sure she would want everyone to continue smiling and wouldn't want to be the reason people are filled with sorrow and tears.

It's sad that it takes a tragedy for us to realize how much we need to appreciate the little things we have in life. It's things like this that make me stop and see what I have and notice how much I'm taking for granted. Tomorrow isn't promised you guys, life is short, so I just hope you guys love as much as you can and never take life for granted. I don't want to get all cheesy but this is just straight from the heart so I hope you guys can take these words into yours and begin to appreciate what you have before it's too late.

Like this page on Facebook to show support for her.

R.I.P Junethea Crystal Centeno (Click)

Live. Laugh. Love.

Tony

Till' It's Gone

They say you never know what you have until it's gone.
Well I knew exactly what I had,
I just never thought I'd lose it.

1,000,000+?!

You might not know it, but I may somehow be in your mp3 player in some relating way.

A picture of my MediaFire account. It should be more but some files that would have included over 80,000 more dl's got deleted. How crazy. What a milestone. I wonder if anyone I know has the little picture of me in their mp3 player?

:p

A Hug Goes A Long Way

So I was thinking about blogging for a while now, but haven't had any idea what to blog about. So I waited on blogging. But tonight, I randomly got this message from a friend of mine. I just had to blog it because right away, it meant so much to me. (Click the image below to enlarge & read it)



Why does this impact me?
Because to me, it was just a simple hug.
But to her, it was something she needed,
and she said it made her feel a lot better on a day she was feeling "hopeless".
This just goes to show that a small act of kindness can go such a long way.
Like I had no idea it was something she needed so bad at the moment,
I just had a random feeling of giving her a big hug.
Turns out it was for the better.
I always tell people I love giving and receiving hugs,
because who doesn't like a real good hug?
Real hugs are rare to receive now days, however.
And although it may seem weird,
this whole incident just gives me another reason behind loving hugs.
Because you never know who may really appreciate it.

So give some good, real, hugs and it may just be exactly what someone needs. :]

P.S - This was a lot like another moment I blogged about in the past. The blog post was titled "Smile :)", if you haven't read it, click here to check it out. Similar enough that I kind of made the presentation the same. Just another example of how the smallest things can make a big difference. I say that a lot haha.

Hopefully this means I'll be blogging more often, I miss it!

& I've missed you if you're reading this!

Oh my goodness

Haven't blogged since last year lol. Eh I don't think anyone reads this anymore, but I need to get back to blogging for myself. I need to get back to flushing out my mind now and then. Like I use to. But would you love my blog like you use to? Even if I'm not the same person that you're use to? Lol mehh I wonder who still reads this.


Oh well,
I'm back.